experimental desire by ahmad izzat latip

Monday.

didnt get any sleep today. the internet connection at home was bad, i later found out that streamyx has this breakdown something somewhere…later got back and watched HBO..then comes oprah around 9am..and there’s this country music couple, amy grant and vince something,the thing with this couple reminds me of someone. Amy grant explains to oprah how did they both meet,and if someone should see this, they would probably say that amy’s sincerity of telling the story was so overwhelming. She is so into his husband but in a way of their own. She’s not jumping up and down and saying she loves her husband, but in a gentle way, she showed her sincerity as i mentioned. Its nice to see this things exist. The happiness in love. The kind that the male is so into the female, and vice versa. The kind that is not excessive for everyone to see, but still you can see the love is there between them. i’m sure this has inspired people to go on living as in the fairy tales, and they live happily ever afterrr…

MTV World Stage

Aaron called a few days before the MTV World Stage in sunway lagoon, and asked if i have anything on the 15th. I have something at that time, i’m supposed to follow kusha to penang and cover his tour with xfresh, but when Aaron told me that it was MTV World Stage, i can’t seems to put aside that offer,i get to go to the concert for free and getting paid to come,now that’s nice. Borrowed 300mm F4 L from iman, and off i gooo..The experience was just nice. I was never a fan of hoobastank or the all american reject,but when you see them perform live infront of you, it will certainly get you jumping around the place. The atmosphere, and the crowds was nice. Got all the nice vibe after leaving from the cover shoot. Supposed to be in BSC on the next day for a fashion show, but had to cancel it last minute, because the mtv thing was tiring enough. But it was a good experience. Didnt shared it with anyone yet, too bad..i’ll brag later with my colleagues about the cover shoot i guess since i dont have anyone now. All of the picture i shot on that day was uploaded straight to http://worldstage.mtvasia.com on the same day.I will get all of the pictures today from aaron, then i’ll post some to my flickr which is on hiatus i guess. too many things to do in sooo little time.

it’s half past one.

can’t seems to find anyone awaked at this hour…i know she is..

….

pretending that i don’t care much about you is not so amusing…

No title for today, pls.

Last few weeks was very hectic. so many things to do, so many things happened, and so many to ponder upon. i wonder if there’s a good side to all of it…

The Exhibition

PIXELMEDIA KUALA LUMPUR has just finished a three day exhibition that we participate at Mid Valley Exhibition Centre last week. The crowd was not as we expected but still, it was very tiring, and we managed to collect a number of bookings. glad that we do! because my main focused is to get the brand name out to people, and not getting bookings. I didnt slept much through out the week, and when it came to the exhibition we were all sleepless. So many things to do in such a short period of time. Overall it was fantastic. An experience i will never forget.

We ended our last day with a friend’s birthday. It was lobai’s birthday. Manggis was there also in our booth, and so was Rupajiwa. it was fun. Seeing all the smiley faces, and the whole hall was actually singing the birthday song along with us. Pretty happy scene.  he brought a viewcam with him, can’t wait to see the video.

Got Mugged?

I got pukau! last week, a few days before the exhibition starts i was collecting some payment in putrajaya. I drove to putrajaya alone, and on the way back, after my client had paid me in full cash, i drove back to KL using the same road, which is MEX Highway.

They have a R&R along the way. I stopped as i wanted to get some food. After finishing, as i walked back to my car, one gold proton waja stopped in front of me. Inside was one arab family. one husband, one wife, and two adorable looking kids behind.They wanted to ask me whether the place had a money changer booth around. obviously i said there is none there. The man wanted to buy his children some drinks, and he doesnt have our currency. Being the generous me, LOL. I gave him RM10. Enough to buy some drinks for the whole family i guess. Then he wanted to change his money with me, he wanted to give me 50 sing dollar, and he wanted 100 bills. So there you go…to make things short, he got more than i gave him. Just don’t let foreigners hold your money or in this case if they came up and asked for a money changer, punch him, and run.

now..back to work…

nothing to look forward to..

the ending of one chapter of my life.

the fact that i must explained myself to another female is not i’ve been waiting for. i thought it would end. i thought i would never be explaining myself to another female ever again, i thought the search has ended. now it will start all over again. and i hate to start all over. 4 months was for nothing, but i had fun. so much fun that i think i would never achieve it again within my life. i respect the decision, and i tried to convience her otherwise. but it didn’t work. the fact that i misinterpret myself to her was so much frustrating. stating that i am not as the  same wavelength as she is was not something i expected to be said.the thing with i’m always available for her was just not her kind to be with, it was confusing i must say, but than again, i respected her choice. it is a total lost for me, and i just hope to be seeing someone exactly like her in the future.i really hope that.

how can i be sure that she’s the one? i dont know,i just know. truth be told, not everything u intend to have would fall off from heaven, but the fact it did for me and i blew it away was not my plan. if i would be given a chance to know her all over again, i would, even knowing that i would not be having her as my partner. the fun was there, the fun was genuine, but just not that much for her.i’m sure that she can be happy after this, i hope you’re happy. i really do. but as far as i know now, i’ll drop down a little bit and just hope for something that i know i can’t have…

1 week.

So it has been one whole week. I’ve been stuck at home since last saturday because of my pink eye sickness. I never thought it would be this long.  I can’t even remember the last time i had stayed this long at home. One of the best thing i realised was, last saturday, when i started to feel something wrong with my eyes, i went straight home. and forgot to buy my pack of cigarettes. Now, it has been officially 7 days without one puff of smoke. I might play along, or can i ? we’ll see. 

So for the past 7 days, nothing happen other than i sat on the couch like a lazy cat surfing through the channels until i fell asleep. and wake up to clean my eyes, and sleep again. The first 3 days was so boring and non-productive. Once i get the hold of it, i manage to do something besides sitting in front of the idiot box all day long. Both pixelmedia events and pixelmedia resources loan proposal has finished, finally. Translating it was so much hassle. and some updates on the website, little ones. other than that, i’ve been downloading movies and watching it while i fell asleep everytime, it’s not they were boring movies, it’s just me, i like watching movies and sleep at the same time.  

A few friends called and text me, i can’t get out. so they probably missing me right now. ke perasan je? I got problems sleeping again. I won’t sleep properly if i know the next day i won’t be having anything to do. In this case, i can’t get out. So i sleep around 5-6am, and got up around 12pm, and sleep again around 3pm, and got up around 7, and the time flies away. I kinda have a routine that i would do everytime it’s 12am, i kinda check my ym’s online list to know whether she’s online or not. And that day i was actually waiting for her to be online, and just when i was getting up to check what’s on HBO, she appeared online! and i practically had this smile on my face and actually said to her that i’ve waited for her to be online.  which i find very weird. when she asked why did i waited, i was stuck. ” er..saje je..” coverline yang tak berjaya kot. Then as days gone by, i had this thing to just call her up and have a chat, sometimes when i feel like talking, her number was the first choice. i dont have any second choice number anyways. it’s been nice talking to her all this while. never felt like this for ages. 

Well, next week supposedly there are people coming to the office to install some partition. and after that, one last cleanup and we can start with the paint job. Can’t wait to settle in. 

I hope tomorrow i could go out and have a blast!

pixelmedia. the studio.

details later on. patience is the best thing in life and businesses. heh.

strive.

Things are great! but then again I can’t barely stop thinking about it. and it shatters me each and every time.  but the thing is, i tend to strive a bit more, i tend to go for a few further steps at a time. i get weaken easily (macam pompuan), but i’m ok. it is  worth the wait.

* Currently listening to Yuna – dan sebenarnya over and over again.

Coming on to the other side of my life, work load is getting even higher. quotation approved all around, and i don’t have any extra hand to work it out. this is good though. it kept me from thinking what i’m not supposed to think. Can’t wait to move in to the office and dig myself out from this hole.

For inspirational purpose hit down to Vincent Laforet’s Blog and drool over his work! he’s the maker of Reverie, a video shot by vincent himself with Canon EOS 5D MarkII. stunning video for a first timer. It got 1 million hits download on Canon’s site, with 18 years of experience of photography, he really made a good job.

…

today is the day that i want to record on my life and play it back again and again until i get the point. but i dont think i would get it anyway. this is just a reminder for me that things just aren’t the way you see it with your own eyes, you need to feel it yourself, collapse is the best sentences to describe it when you really feel it.

i think i can manage this, but deep down i know its hard enough than the previous breakoff.

shush. no comments are accepted on this entry.

Updates on me.

i shouldn’t be scribbling here. i have lots to do, lots to plan out, lots to manage. but i need some time out too. the last post was on september 2008, so here’s the update on my practical in order life.

just cutting down to some sense and not bragging in anyway, i’d purchace a Canon EOS 5D with of course the battery grip and a 24-70mm f2.8 EX DG Macro Sigma lens. previously i own a Canon EOS 350D for nearly 5 years, and its time to change. 5D is really a splendid camera. period.

i have lots of album to finish. sometimes i feel like vomitting. too many pictures to select, too many albums to cover in a short period of time. i wont sacrifice my futsal day out. but i manage to cut down my “lepak time”, and its hard despite i have a very nice company of friends here and there. i feel like treating them all in one nice dinner (if i have the money!).

A very close friend has some issues in his wedding preparations. i felt hopeless. i’ve shown every love and support i can give, but i dont think the thing will go on. the thing is, i hope it wont go on. may he makes the right moves and decision. Bad things happen to good people. so there you go.

In august 2009, pixelmedia will be at the MidValley Wedding Exihibition. More preparations to be made. and more plans to re-schedule, and hopefully in this year, i will be opening a studio and gallery (and office of that matter..). Too many things to cover by the end of the year. thinking of making some getaway plans to reduce the tension in my head. but then again, i have now found my source of inspiration : ) with all the massive work load to be done, i manage to know this one girl from a friend, and i felt lucky to just know her. even more when we’re laughing together on the phone. from this kind of situations i tend to get the inspiration to work and work without stop. she doesn’t even realise this. known her for like a month, and been out with her twice, went out for a short dinner in uptown damansara and the other one which doesn’t really count! i fetch her up from her work place, and send her straight home. which is nice, just to see her face. bodo jiwang ni. but then again, its worth it. she’s a bit short but i don’t really care about the height, its the soft-spoken-loud-laugh that i’m into. i’m so into this girl,i hope it ends happily..hmm..